2008 Woodie Awards
Naked News
Jennifer DeMoss
Issue date: 5/7/07 Section: Inside WCC
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Poo-poo platter
There are some women you just shouldn't mess with, and Jill Martin is one of them. Martin has topped all of my pranks to date, including the one where I put rotting vegetables in a coworker's desk. But that's another story, I am a different person, and Martin is in serious trouble. The UK resident decided to "spice up" her flagging marriage by making her hubby a special dish...with dog poo. I guess her soon-to-be ex-husband should be grateful; after laughing hysterically as he ate his just desserts she initially claimed to have spiked his food with arsenic. Follow the link below to see a picture of a still-hysterical Martin gesturing with her hand like it's a sock puppet. Full story
Drugs are bad, m'kay
I read this story in a link on fark.com which is, in case you were wondering, where I get a lot of these stories (the ones I don't make up). Then I googled a picture of crack/cocaine. And then I asked myself the same question that Eddie Mitchell must be asking himself: "WHY?!" You see, Mitchell lost his right eye in a fight over drugs years ago, and it was replaced with a glass replica. He showed the eye to a group of people in order to underscore the negative impacts that drugs such as crack can have on a person's life. One man took the message a little too seriously-thinking that the glass eye actually WAS crack, he flushed it down the toilet. A new eye costs over $3,000, and you can contact JohnS@komotv.com to make a donation. Full story
This dog is the bomb!
Hector the Chihuahua had a rough time being dognapped. He fell prey to his owner's son's ex-girlfriend Latonia Hill (whose half-sister had a class with a guy whose roommate was in a film with Kevin Bacon), who demanded $50 for Hector's safe return. The psycho dogsnatcher returned Hector by throwing him through the front door of his owner's pub in an interesting state; his mouth and legs were bound with orange tape. A piece of cheese and a picture of his owner's son were strung around his neck, and some broken electrical equipment meant to look like a bomb was strapped on his back. I've received no news yet as to what type of cheese was around the dog's neck. Full story
Freedom strippers
I know that you can rally for democracy, but does a striptease work as well? Our neighbors to the south apparently think so, or at least a few of them. A group called Dancers for Democracy protested a Senate bill that would make it illegal for their clients to come within six feet of the girls. The women said that the erection of this invisible barrier would violate their freedom of speech and prevent them from paying their bills. While I have no problems with these fine ladies dancing their way through college, I have a hard time imagining that this violates their freedom of speech, unless they have mouths in places I don't want to know about. Full story
Heads up loyal readers: this is your next to last serving of Naked News. Make sure to join me for the final installment of my beloved (by me) column in the graduation issue of The Voice.
There are some women you just shouldn't mess with, and Jill Martin is one of them. Martin has topped all of my pranks to date, including the one where I put rotting vegetables in a coworker's desk. But that's another story, I am a different person, and Martin is in serious trouble. The UK resident decided to "spice up" her flagging marriage by making her hubby a special dish...with dog poo. I guess her soon-to-be ex-husband should be grateful; after laughing hysterically as he ate his just desserts she initially claimed to have spiked his food with arsenic. Follow the link below to see a picture of a still-hysterical Martin gesturing with her hand like it's a sock puppet. Full story
Drugs are bad, m'kay
I read this story in a link on fark.com which is, in case you were wondering, where I get a lot of these stories (the ones I don't make up). Then I googled a picture of crack/cocaine. And then I asked myself the same question that Eddie Mitchell must be asking himself: "WHY?!" You see, Mitchell lost his right eye in a fight over drugs years ago, and it was replaced with a glass replica. He showed the eye to a group of people in order to underscore the negative impacts that drugs such as crack can have on a person's life. One man took the message a little too seriously-thinking that the glass eye actually WAS crack, he flushed it down the toilet. A new eye costs over $3,000, and you can contact JohnS@komotv.com to make a donation. Full story
This dog is the bomb!
Hector the Chihuahua had a rough time being dognapped. He fell prey to his owner's son's ex-girlfriend Latonia Hill (whose half-sister had a class with a guy whose roommate was in a film with Kevin Bacon), who demanded $50 for Hector's safe return. The psycho dogsnatcher returned Hector by throwing him through the front door of his owner's pub in an interesting state; his mouth and legs were bound with orange tape. A piece of cheese and a picture of his owner's son were strung around his neck, and some broken electrical equipment meant to look like a bomb was strapped on his back. I've received no news yet as to what type of cheese was around the dog's neck. Full story
Freedom strippers
I know that you can rally for democracy, but does a striptease work as well? Our neighbors to the south apparently think so, or at least a few of them. A group called Dancers for Democracy protested a Senate bill that would make it illegal for their clients to come within six feet of the girls. The women said that the erection of this invisible barrier would violate their freedom of speech and prevent them from paying their bills. While I have no problems with these fine ladies dancing their way through college, I have a hard time imagining that this violates their freedom of speech, unless they have mouths in places I don't want to know about. Full story
Heads up loyal readers: this is your next to last serving of Naked News. Make sure to join me for the final installment of my beloved (by me) column in the graduation issue of The Voice.
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