2008 Woodie Awards
Naked News
Jennifer DeMoss
Issue date: 4/9/07 Section: Inside WCC
Honk if you love Naked News
Two Connecticut store owners who share a parking lot are battling it out for the souls of their clientèle. When Claudette Soden put up a sign for Easter that read "Easter Beep for Christ" complete with pink underlining and crosses, the tattoo artist in the adjoining lot came up with a sign of his own: one that asked motorists to honk twice for Satan, with a cartoon picture of a grinning demon. The signs stand next to each other, and a reported cascade of conflicting honks are emanating from drivers eager to profess their love of their respective deities.
Web site
Fairy tales
Nobody believes in fairies anymore, right? The answer is yes, according to Dan Baines, who pranked 20,000+ fairy lovers with his handmade mummified fairy remains. Dan meticulously designed his fairy to include tiny ears, eyes, hair, and wings, and it looks as though it's made out of charcoal. Thousands of stupefied fairy fanatics slammed Dan's inbox when he put pictures of the remains on the Internet, and although he has explained that it was an April Fool's joke, some people still insist that the fairy must be real. He's even had requests that he bury it immediately or suffer the consequences of tampering with the ephemeral.
Web site
Bombs away
On my way to a flight back from Oregon a couple three weeks ago, a woman confiscated my $10 shampoo and uber-expensive conditioner because the bottles were too large; but if I'd had a bomb, it would have been cool. That's the word from Denver, where security screeners failed the test after undercover agents attempted to get fake explosive devices through the metal detectors. Actually, they didn't just attempt to get the bombs through-they succeeded by concocting half-baked stories about why the suspicious lumps in their clothes and taped to their bodies set off the alarms. Studies show that the agents for the most part weren't even patted down for suspicious materials. Really makes you want to fly the explosives-friendly skies.
Web site
Yes, we do serve coyote
Wildlife is apparently adapting well to city sprawl, if the scene in Quizno's is any indication. A coyote set up shop in one of Chicago's many sub shops and chilled in the drink cooler until Animal Control employees "coaxed" (i.e. dragged) it from the restaurant. The adolescent animal will be dropped off at a wildlife refuge in Illinois, where it will remain until lured back to the city by tasty preserved meats and carbonated beverages.
Web site
Put your pants up!
Skinnydipping took on a new meaning for Jesse Sandow, a Maryland native who was picked up after driving his stolen car very poorly, attracting the fuzz's attention. When the cops pursued him Jesse and his wife Danah attempted to evade them by jumping into the Gwynns Falls stream. His wife made it to the other side fully clothed but when they fished Jesse out of the water, to his chagrin, he had lost not only his freedom, but his pants.
Web site
Two Connecticut store owners who share a parking lot are battling it out for the souls of their clientèle. When Claudette Soden put up a sign for Easter that read "Easter Beep for Christ" complete with pink underlining and crosses, the tattoo artist in the adjoining lot came up with a sign of his own: one that asked motorists to honk twice for Satan, with a cartoon picture of a grinning demon. The signs stand next to each other, and a reported cascade of conflicting honks are emanating from drivers eager to profess their love of their respective deities.
Web site
Fairy tales
Nobody believes in fairies anymore, right? The answer is yes, according to Dan Baines, who pranked 20,000+ fairy lovers with his handmade mummified fairy remains. Dan meticulously designed his fairy to include tiny ears, eyes, hair, and wings, and it looks as though it's made out of charcoal. Thousands of stupefied fairy fanatics slammed Dan's inbox when he put pictures of the remains on the Internet, and although he has explained that it was an April Fool's joke, some people still insist that the fairy must be real. He's even had requests that he bury it immediately or suffer the consequences of tampering with the ephemeral.
Web site
Bombs away
On my way to a flight back from Oregon a couple three weeks ago, a woman confiscated my $10 shampoo and uber-expensive conditioner because the bottles were too large; but if I'd had a bomb, it would have been cool. That's the word from Denver, where security screeners failed the test after undercover agents attempted to get fake explosive devices through the metal detectors. Actually, they didn't just attempt to get the bombs through-they succeeded by concocting half-baked stories about why the suspicious lumps in their clothes and taped to their bodies set off the alarms. Studies show that the agents for the most part weren't even patted down for suspicious materials. Really makes you want to fly the explosives-friendly skies.
Web site
Yes, we do serve coyote
Wildlife is apparently adapting well to city sprawl, if the scene in Quizno's is any indication. A coyote set up shop in one of Chicago's many sub shops and chilled in the drink cooler until Animal Control employees "coaxed" (i.e. dragged) it from the restaurant. The adolescent animal will be dropped off at a wildlife refuge in Illinois, where it will remain until lured back to the city by tasty preserved meats and carbonated beverages.
Web site
Put your pants up!
Skinnydipping took on a new meaning for Jesse Sandow, a Maryland native who was picked up after driving his stolen car very poorly, attracting the fuzz's attention. When the cops pursued him Jesse and his wife Danah attempted to evade them by jumping into the Gwynns Falls stream. His wife made it to the other side fully clothed but when they fished Jesse out of the water, to his chagrin, he had lost not only his freedom, but his pants.
Web site
Be the first to comment on this story